There is no shortage of documented cases of Jewish Young Adults settling into adult relationships with their conventional neurotic peers, even while wishing they were partnered with Non-Stereotypical Jews. What is less documented, and somewhat counter-intuitive, is the ritual of preparation that occurs before the JYA officially sets out to find a potential life partner. Specifically, there is a period of practice and training that many JYAs undergo to develop sexual experience. What demarcates this practice stage of debauchery is that JYAs seek out sexual experiences with Non-Jews.
It is true that most JYAs first sexual encounters take place during their teen years at summer camps, Israel trips, or Youth Group conventions, as these are veritable Meccas for nascent JYAs, drawing in pilgrimage-like droves of Jewish Teens to experience religious and ethnic community, explore their faith, and receive handies. After these initial experiences, however, the JYA will spend many years sifting through various partners until finally settling on another JYA. It is in the “grey space” of college and early to mid-twenties where JYAs will typically look to add at least one Non-Jewish notch to their unbuckled belts.
For male JYAs, the typical gentile target is either a female of Asian decent from any faith, or a Catholic female with typical Aryan features including blonde hair and blue eyes. Female JYAs hunt for tall athletic males with light brown hair and 20/20 vision, with bonus points for Lacrosse/Football players or “legacy” WASPs with names like “James Everett Worthington III”.
The main subconscious force driving this brief period of Gentile-loving is the pressure of at least two decades of Jewish Elders and Jewish Adults reiterating that only another Jew will suffice for dating and marital purposes. The weight of this burden creates an unquenchable subversive curiosity in JYAs to see what they are missing and to try something completely different before their life assumes its inevitable course. As female JYA and Cornell Junior “Beth” pointed relates: “After Ari and I broke up I went out with this guy Chris and he totally didn’t care that I ordered shrimp, and he didn’t even ask me to cover the tip or split the bill. Ari was never like that. It was so refreshing”.
While most parents will turn a blind eye to a little bit of inter-faith carnal dabbling, there is some concern among Jewish elders that the JYA will find out that he or she prefers dating Non-Jews over other JYAs. Fortunately for those who want their parents to spring for the wedding, there is a trend among single JYAs that Non-Jews, while sexually gratifying and diverting, should be viewed as temporary. Or, as JYA “Jacob” notes, “Shiksas are for practice, Jewesses are for keeps”.
Ugh. No matter how self-effacingly ironic you meant this one to sound, it still smacks of some pretty ugly sentiment…
I practice on little jewesses. they are tightest.
Micki, agreed. I’m an atheist ex-Christian female of Asian descent, and this entry definitely left me feeling pretty cold. A double whammy of objectification of a group (shiksas or whatever) and Yellow Fever as well. Awesome.
Atheist Asian female who finds this post to be remarkably true, except for the temporary part (from experience). Besides, there’s an honorary inner Jew inside of every Asian, methinks.
haha this is so true. to anyone who is offended by this, you’re probably not Jewish and don’t understand the joke. so lighten up and be happy you were blessed with at least a brief period of Jewish man-loving!
I’m Jewish and Asian and I am offended by it, because it’s just crude and rude to think.. oh, we practice on those people.. they’re dirt trash…it’s a really crappy way of thinking and being.
This is so true. Agree entirely with Ari. It’s so funny because it is so insanely true.
Kudos.
Maybe it’s true for you, but it’s not true for me. I went with a really great Italian-American girl. We were really good together. She knew from the start I wasn’t interested in marriage at that point in my life, and she also knew I probably would end up with a Jewish girl. Not every relationship has to end in marriage. I think it’s important to be honest and to treat other people like the human beings they are. If you’re not doing that and you’re using people it will come back to bite your ass. I’m a JYA and I’m turned off by the smug stupidity that I’m finding among some “macho” guys on this board.
Thanks for referring to me, among my other “shiksa” friends as none other than a brief intermittent sexual opportunity. Objectification is always my greatest achievement in life. I’m Catholic, with jewish hungarian blood on my father’s side, but this truly repulses me.
Ally,
Apologies if we offended you, but please keep in mind this site is supposed to be humorous and not intended to be taken seriously.
I understand to a degree. Most things I find quite true and hilarious on this site, as I read it regularly, but when it comes to discussing ‘using’ a female or male of a particular ethnic/religious background, it crosses the line.
Appreciated the apology.
Some may find offense if they they fail to find humor in pathos.
I’m Gay, Filipino, and have topped many a Jew due to my abode’s proximity ala West End Ave…
It’s the Asians (and Jews alike) who don’t find the humor (despite some truth) in this post that make me prefer to masturbate than hit the HK bar scene.
It works both ways.. I top mostly white dudes due to my nabe’s racial makeup, but when I do plan to settle and adopt a brown baby of my complexion, I hope to do so with another professional Filipino hubby who has my same inclinations to flush only after at least 2 pisses to save on our water bill, despite our well to do income.
Have you familiar with how high Jewish out-marriage rates are? Lots of wishful thinking mixed in with your racism here, kids.
I am one of those shiksas of which you speak. It pains me that I have to be the “practice” girl, but I’ll take what I can get ’cause I loves me the Jewish boys. Damn, you guys are hot.
My biggest problem – how to get Jewish boys from feeling so guilty about no-strings-attached sex? I know I’ll never be “the one” for them and talking conversion just makes me look like I’m trying too hard (though, for a few I’d certainly consider it).
*Sigh* It’s a sad situation. If you can offer me some insight into the JYA male pscyhe, I’d appreciate it.
Shiksa,
“If you can offer me some insight into the JYA male pscyhe, I’d appreciate it.”
Swallow.
Jake,
Of course I swallow. Who doesn’t swallow? But, I offer a choice, too. Non-JYA girls are good like that….and we won’t make you feel guilty if you want to try something kinkier than that. 🙂
My two cents,
Shiksa
I’ve been the “practice shiksa” before…but in the end I snagged my JYA fiance for keeps. His parents don’t even begrudge me for tainting the bloodline! Haha, though they’re lightly-practicing reform Jews so I guess I lucked out there. =)
Em,
No such thing as a “lightly-practicing reform Jew.”
We sometimes turn blind eye to dirty goyim blood like you, only if you have substantial assets.
We legally find ways to transfer them to our family bloodline, prior to divorce couple years down the line due to “cultural difference” or “bad sex.”
L’chaim.
My mother is orthodox, and i’ve been married to my atheist/animist Vietnamese wife for 4 1/2 years. I dated mostly Asian women, but only a couple of Jewish ones (including one JapaJew as she calls herself.) We even live (temporarily) with my mother, and all get along pretty well. It doesn’t hurt that we have a very cute 3 year old girl. I don’t believe my wife should convert, unless she actually decides she believes in Judaism, which is unlikely. My daughter has many classmates at her JCC preschool who are both Asian and Jewish.
To midtownjj, you are a faker and troll. People like you disgust me.
“Shiksas are for practice, Jewesses are for keeps”. Excellent. That’s exactly the principle Muslim boys follow with non-Muslim girls, until they finally go for a marriage with a decent girl from “back home.”
Excellent!
Haha, for years men thought I was a shiksa. Such a dirty word. Little did they know my maternal line is Jewish, so I am a Jew. Just secular. I’m becoming more observant now. I know how bad guy can be because I am blonde with green eyes… Guys see what they want. They don’t ask. Hashem doesn’t like it though, I think I payed for not telling them and they payed for treating me like practice.
I practice on jeweses all the time. They just can’t get enough Aryan dick, the horney little sluts. I always use a rubber as I don’t want to dirty my dick, as well as to make sure I don’t plant my valuable Aryan sead in jew a bag od shite.
I am a Jewish man late twenties and am so confused on the asian girl thing??? I get some men from any outside race having yellow fever as individual tastes, but as an ideal sexually for Jewish males? I have never come across this, ever. I have grown up with jewish friends, went to a predominantly jewish school and never have heard any guy friend or other mention such a fantasy. The shiksa blonde on the other hand. OF CORSE! how obvious. The polar opposite of us and most jewish men. Ultimate weakness. I have dated these dream girl shiksas and loved a few not just practice. But am feeling the pressure now to start dating jewish or more ‘jewish’ type sensible, intellectual type of women for my mothers approval. However whenever start one of these regardless if the girl is pretty that allure of the shiksa still has me and i feel will want to marry one.
I found this when searching for guys in similar situations or perhaps had and married their dream shiksa or didn’t and felt was the right choice???
Also to the women claiming to be one, I wouldn’t consider someone a shiksa who thought they were and intentionally sought jewish men. That is something entirely different. On my opinion anyway.