Archive for March, 2009

(idea submitted by Anonymous)

Every young adult has experienced some form of breakup by the time they reach thirty five. Maybe some girl told you she sees you as just a friend. Maybe some charming guy told you that he’s not into a committed relationship right now. Whatever the reason, practically everybody has a long list of former girlfriends/boyfriends/flings of various degrees of seriousness.

What is unique about Jewish Young Adults with regards to their exes is that JYAs have a strong tendency to keep tabs on every person they have had a slight romantic encounter with. Non-Jews in general are much more ready to move on and move past following a break up, adopting the simple “live and let live” philosophy of life toward their exes. JYAs, on the other hand, prefer the “live and let live as long as long I find a new relationship first”.

This penchant for stalking exes has become an even greater pastime for JYAs in recent years due to the stalking-efficient nature of Facebook, Twitter, and other online outlets. JYAs of today can extract vital pieces of information about their exes, including photos, addresses, and favorite movies. JYA “Michelle” keeps weekly tabs on her ex boyfriend from college, and upon noting that he was still listed as single (six years later), Michelle decided that he was gay.

facebook-stalking1In many JYAs the problem is even more pronounced, as they will stalk not only exes, but also near-exes; those that could have been but never were. JYA “Jon” recently pointed out that his onetime interest, “Rebecca” was moving to his city, and stated “Remember that Rebecca chick? We totally almost hooked it up at camp that one year. I found out on her sister’s Facebook that she’s moving to the Upper East. We’re totally going to consummate that action”

It is unclear exactly why JYAs display this obsessive need to gather information on their past flings, but it is clear that the process is becoming easier. Therefore, as technology improves, we can expect JYAs to dedicate even more time and effort toward poring over the details of their past loves, perpetuating the stigma that JYAs can’t let anything go quietly.

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Jewish Young Adults are a fairly educated lot, devoting many years and many dollars in the pursuit of graduate degrees. They will voluntarily dedicate innumerable hours toward writing seminar papers, master’s theses, and doctoral proposals. While it is well known that JYAs have historically had a penchant for graduate degrees in law, medicine, and business, there has been an interesting trend over the recent years in a completely different direction: Middle Eastern History.

Maybe it is the fact that JYAs are quickly discovering that the world is saturated with MBAs, or maybe they are realizing that working ninety hours a week in corporate law is soul sucking, but history departments from UCLA to TAU are filling up with young Jews looking to explore their Semitic roots in an academic setting. JYA “Hannah” is currently enrolled at Brandeis and mentioned that “my parents said they would pay if I went to grad school, but med school is like seven years and business school is all that math ‘n stuff”.

Unfortunately, a Masters in Middle Eastern History has a slightly smaller range of real world application, as many JYAs find out when they finish and enter the working world. But thankfully, to counter this dilemma, there are always doctoral and post-doctoral programs in the field that offer scholarships, and if their aren’t scholarships, there are parents with deep pockets.


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Jewish Young Adults of today tend to look for each at people of their own generation for inspiration and direction. But every so often a Jewish Elder or Jewish Adult will make a mark with the average JYA. Two such examples are the dynamic duo of Diane Feinstein and Barbara Boxer, the twin Democratic Senators from California, and also both Hadassah members (allegedly).

DiFi and BaBo both entered the national public sphere in the early 90’s, and are both extremely popular in California, and have handedly won their re-election campaigns since initially being elected into office. Both have made their respective marks and climbed the ranks, and currently sit on some of the most important committees in the Senate (Feinstein with Rules, Judiciary, Appropriations, and Intelligence and Boxer with Commerce, Environment, and Foreign Relations). Both are also known for their unwavering support for Israel, and have been given the esteemed title of “Good for the Jews” (as opposed to Bernie Madoff, who is “Bad for the Jews”).

There are some JYAs who devoutly follow the careers of both women, but most JYAs are supporters of DiFi and Babo simply because they like the concept of having a feisty Jewish Elder in the Capitol, putting the goyim in their place and making sure their staff all bring jackets in case it gets cold at night because you never know. For example, female JYA “Jessica” stated about Boxer “Oh my god! I love her! Wait, isn’t she like a mayor or something?”

Whether or not they agree with Feinstein or Boxer’s policy, and whether or not they even know what their policies actually are, JYAs are universally proud of their elder Jewish stateswomen. Even the most ardently right wing JYA will admit they are glad that two distinctive MOTs are representing in DC.


DiFi and BaBo lay the smack down on some goyim!

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