(idea submitted by Anonymous)
Every young adult has experienced some form of breakup by the time they reach thirty five. Maybe some girl told you she sees you as just a friend. Maybe some charming guy told you that he’s not into a committed relationship right now. Whatever the reason, practically everybody has a long list of former girlfriends/boyfriends/flings of various degrees of seriousness.
What is unique about Jewish Young Adults with regards to their exes is that JYAs have a strong tendency to keep tabs on every person they have had a slight romantic encounter with. Non-Jews in general are much more ready to move on and move past following a break up, adopting the simple “live and let live” philosophy of life toward their exes. JYAs, on the other hand, prefer the “live and let live as long as long I find a new relationship first”.
This penchant for stalking exes has become an even greater pastime for JYAs in recent years due to the stalking-efficient nature of Facebook, Twitter, and other online outlets. JYAs of today can extract vital pieces of information about their exes, including photos, addresses, and favorite movies. JYA “Michelle” keeps weekly tabs on her ex boyfriend from college, and upon noting that he was still listed as single (six years later), Michelle decided that he was gay.
In many JYAs the problem is even more pronounced, as they will stalk not only exes, but also near-exes; those that could have been but never were. JYA “Jon” recently pointed out that his onetime interest, “Rebecca” was moving to his city, and stated “Remember that Rebecca chick? We totally almost hooked it up at camp that one year. I found out on her sister’s Facebook that she’s moving to the Upper East. We’re totally going to consummate that action”
It is unclear exactly why JYAs display this obsessive need to gather information on their past flings, but it is clear that the process is becoming easier. Therefore, as technology improves, we can expect JYAs to dedicate even more time and effort toward poring over the details of their past loves, perpetuating the stigma that JYAs can’t let anything go quietly.