(idea submitted by Emily B)
Upon entering a restaurant with a Jewish Young Adult, it is best to be patient and understanding when the waiter comes around, for JYAs exhibit a strong tendency toward ordering “augmented” dishes from what appears on the menu. Frequently a JYA will chose to adjust or alter any given dish in very specific ways, sometimes to the chagrin of wait staff, food preparers, or neighboring Non-JYA diners.
There are many examples of this specific attribute of JYA behavior, ranging from the benign, “Can I get the dressing on the side?”, to the slightly irritating, “Can I get the salad without the mushrooms?”, to the borderline ridiculous, “Can I get the milk 1% and the foam 2%?” While higher end restaurants will readily acquiesce to the whims of the JYA, the JYA does not alter his/her behavior in lower end restaurants, and can be frequently seen requesting modifications even at their local burrito shop or hummus joint.
This behavior probably stems from the JYAs need to assert their uniqueness, specifically in public situations. It could also stem from the JYAs lack of flexibility concerning meals and foodstuffs. It could also be related to the JYAs peculiar penchant for claiming allergies to common foods. It is also important to note that this specific behavioral trait does not diminish over time, but rather becomes more pronounced as the JYA becomes a Jewish Elder.
Whatever the underlying reasons, the JYA of today feels a pressing need to have their culinary tastes satisfied to 100%, apparently without any leeway or flexibility, and feels that most dining establishments are incapable of completely satiating their specific gastronomic needs. If you find yourself dining with a JYA it is best to be prepared for such behavior by taking deep breathes, ordering quickly, and sharing understanding glances of irritation with the wait staff while the JYA is listing off his/her fourth modification. If you still find yourself feeling uncomfortable, you can leave a 17% tip to compensate for any potential grievance.
(Dressing on the Side)
Holly fuckin shite!!! Jewish elders—-thats my in laws!!
Another factor contributing to the annoying way they order is that many of them can’t cook. Some of them are proud of the fact that the only thing they can make is a reservation. So they don’t know how difficult it is when they all order the chopped salad, but every one is different. And of course they’re in a hurry.