Glossary of frequently used terms on SJYAL:
JYA – Jewish Young Adult. Any Jew between the ages of 22 and 35 (or 18 and 40 if one is desperate to belong); the demographic into which most SJYAL readers belong.
Catholic – Friends of the JYA. While historically relations between Jews and Catholics have been strained (See the Inquisition, Blood Libel) this has not been the case in recent history.
Protestant – The new Catholics. At best Protestants are boring; at worst they are the Reverend Hagee.
Christmas – A non-Jewish holiday celebrated by Catholics and Protestants; the day Jews eat Chinese food and attend the Matzah Ball.
Nice Jewish Girl – A girl a male JYA would bring home to his mother, but probably not be that excited about; a girl the older male JYA will wonder why he can’t find despite having ignored them in his 20s.
MOT – Member of the Tribe. A Jew. This phrase is typically used in the negative to describe a friend others may have erroneously assumed was Jewish, as in the sentence, “Jessie is home this week for Easter… No, she’s not MOT.”
JA – Jewish Adult. Any Jew between the ages of 40 and 65. May or may not read the blogs, may or may not be the JYA’s parent.
JE – Jewish Elder. Any Jew over the age of 65, and/or retired, and/or wears pleated front pants and/or lives in Florida and/or does not know what text messaging is.
JST – Jewish Standard Time. A flexible time zone that exists everywhere on earth that Jews live. It is set to anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes later than local time.
NSJ – Non-Stereotypical Jew. Any Jewish Young Adult who is regularly categorized as a Non-Jew, either by their actions or by their appearance. They are often “token” friends and their existence is used by non-Jews to feign expertise about the Jewish people. (E.g. “Everyone says Jews are really bad at sports, but my friend—Asher Goldstein—kicks ass at basketball. He’s also blond, by the way”). NSJs are also frequently the preferred object for potential dating.
Granola Jew – Any Jewish Young Adult who has a strong penchant for being “out-doorsy” or overty “spiritual”. These JYAs are typically from the North West, from cities like Santa Cruz, Berkeley, Eugene, Boulder, or Seattle.
Good for the Jews – Any specific noun that has been deemed acceptable by all three demographic classification of Jews: Jewish Young Adults, Jewish Adults, and Jewish Elders, and by both genders.
[...] the most important – mostly because it goes against the traditionally accepted notion of ‘Jewish Standard Time’. When arriving at the function venue, being on time is crucialto enjoying the simcha [...]