#98 Smartphones

(idea submitted by Jacob L.)

Mobile telecommunication technology has advanced so quickly in the past decade that it is almost impossible to keep up with all of the latest advances and functionality.  Today’s cell phone can do so much more than just take calls and send text messages.  These “smartphones” can do practically everything, in the palm of your hand, and have become a ubiquitous accessory for Jewish Young Adults the world over.

JYAs were early adopters of “smartphones” and have remained aficionados ever since for a variety of reasons.  First, JYAs love to be constantly “in the know” about what is going on with everybody around them.  Smartphones allow JYAs to keep tabs on all of their friends via emails, text messages, phone calls, messenger, video chat, or whatever medium they prefer.  Secondly, smartphones gives JYAs instant connectivity to check their JDate, update their Facebook/Twitter, approve evites to local singles events, and follow the latest trends all within seconds, and all without getting up from their chair.  Also, smartphones can be customized, with specific ringtones for each parent, a separate inbox for ex boyfriends/girlfriends, and even a daily alarm for their ortho-tri doses!  Finally, as an added bonus, JYA’s love smartphones because they are just beyond the technological prowess of Jewish Adults, therefore insuring privacy from the nosy fingers of Jewish mothers.

While there has been a recent trend in “downgrading” mobile technology to more simpler/cheaper machines that only offer phone calls (and even a recent uptick in the number of people who are opting out of the grid entirely and dropping out of Twitter/Facebook), there is no doubt that JYAs will continue to covet these technological treasures for years to come.

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#97 Pretending to like Jewish Rap Parodies

If you scroll through the email inbox of any Jewish Young Adult, you will undoubtedly find numerous links to various rap parodies with Jewish themes.  These parodies get forwarded around to the worldwide JYA community on a daily basis, which gives the outside impression that JYAs are huge fans of these pitiful lampoons.   In reality, JYAs are actually well aware of the lameness of the overwhelming majority of these videos, yet they pretend to be fans out of a show of solidarity to the cause.

50 Shekel

Some of the videos are blatantly cheesy, like rapper Chutzpah or 50 Shekel.  Others are vomitously unwatchable, like watching your dorky neighbor and his camcorder.  The rare few are decent, and usually involve professionals, like in the Forest Hills State of Mind video.  But overwhelmingly, all of these videos induce a retching feeling and a general sense of humiliation that fellow JYAs actually put effort into these clips, and genuinely believe they are quality.

Yet, JYAs will send the videos to all their friends, posting links on Facebook, and crosslinking to their Tweets, all the time knowing full well that they are disseminating junk and just encouraging the creation of more dreadful Jewish rap parodies.  One possible reason could be solidarity or support for other JYAs.  Another reason could be that JYAs think their friends have questionable views of humor.  Unfortunately, it could also be that JYAs just have bad taste when it comes to rap music.

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