(idea submitted by Megan R.)
Most Jewish Young Adults meet their first Israeli soldiers at Jewish summer camp where these ambassadors for their small nation are the gentlemen with whom every young Jewess wanted to have, or had, sex. If one’s Jewish summer camp was unfortunate enough to lack military escort, the JYA probably met their first Israeli soldier on their birthright trip, or, as male Israelis Young Adults like to think of it as: “an easy way to get a handy.” In fact, male Israelis report a curious phenomenon whereby panties drop when army service is mentioned.
Even Non-Jews have an unusual affinity for media representations of the young Israeli soldier. Much of the fascination centers on their youth, their compulsory service, and the relative badassery of nubile women in the forces. This can be shown in the popularity of Israeli soldier girls on TV, such as Ziva David on NCIS whose accent is beyond ludicrous, and, most beloved of all, the character Yael on the popular show Weeds, who was the kind of character Americans love—sexy, young, and crazy. Of her time in the IDF, Yael relates an anecdote in which her lover (who is her commanding officer) catches her in bed with another man and shoots her in the arm. She says she could not have respected him if he had not done so because he would have seemed like less than a man.
Although Mossad agents are not officially members of the IDF, they also proliferate in our modern media. This year’s offering, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, saw Adam Sandler as a Mossad agent who wants to be a hairdresser. The film further increased the mystique and allure of male Israeli soldiers, with their adorable latent misogyny and rampant copulation.
The abundance of attractive images of Israeli soldiers leads many American Jews to mistakenly believe they would like to become soldiers for Israel. One pasty computer loving Detroit JYA, “Jacob,” looked up from his game of Scrabulous on Facebook to state: “I could spend a couple of years in the desert getting totally ripped and handling a sweet piece. When I come back, I’ll be swimming in poon.”
While many JYAs, particularly male, fantasize about joining the Israeli army, the chances are exceedingly slim, and therefore the desired increase in “poon” will remain ever-elusive for the typical 9-5er. For the female JYA, the ability to snag a soldier for a night is substantially higher than for the male JYA, but the probability of holding on to that same soldier for a second night is negligible. Ironically, as most Israeli Young Adults will tell you, they would happily give up their 3 years of standing around in the heat doing practically nothing just for the opportunity to sit in air conditioning and play Scrabulous during work hours.