(idea submitted by Megan R.)
Most Jewish Young Adults meet their first Israeli soldiers at Jewish summer camp where these ambassadors for their small nation are the gentlemen with whom every young Jewess wanted to have, or had, sex. If one’s Jewish summer camp was unfortunate enough to lack military escort, the JYA probably met their first Israeli soldier on their birthright trip, or, as male Israelis Young Adults like to think of it as: “an easy way to get a handy.” In fact, male Israelis report a curious phenomenon whereby panties drop when army service is mentioned.
(Ladies ladies ladies!)
Even Non-Jews have an unusual affinity for media representations of the young Israeli soldier. Much of the fascination centers on their youth, their compulsory service, and the relative badassery of nubile women in the forces. This can be shown in the popularity of Israeli soldier girls on TV, such as Ziva David on NCIS whose accent is beyond ludicrous, and, most beloved of all, the character Yael on the popular show Weeds, who was the kind of character Americans love—sexy, young, and crazy. Of her time in the IDF, Yael relates an anecdote in which her lover (who is her commanding officer) catches her in bed with another man and shoots her in the arm. She says she could not have respected him if he had not done so because he would have seemed like less than a man.
Although Mossad agents are not officially members of the IDF, they also proliferate in our modern media. This year’s offering, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, saw Adam Sandler as a Mossad agent who wants to be a hairdresser. The film further increased the mystique and allure of male Israeli soldiers, with their adorable latent misogyny and rampant copulation.
The abundance of attractive images of Israeli soldiers leads many American Jews to mistakenly believe they would like to become soldiers for Israel. One pasty computer loving Detroit JYA, “Jacob,” looked up from his game of Scrabulous on Facebook to state: “I could spend a couple of years in the desert getting totally ripped and handling a sweet piece. When I come back, I’ll be swimming in poon.”
(I salute you big boy!)
While many JYAs, particularly male, fantasize about joining the Israeli army, the chances are exceedingly slim, and therefore the desired increase in “poon” will remain ever-elusive for the typical 9-5er. For the female JYA, the ability to snag a soldier for a night is substantially higher than for the male JYA, but the probability of holding on to that same soldier for a second night is negligible. Ironically, as most Israeli Young Adults will tell you, they would happily give up their 3 years of standing around in the heat doing practically nothing just for the opportunity to sit in air conditioning and play Scrabulous during work hours.
I once heard of a girl from my summer camp who got married to an Israeli soldier…
I should have studied abroad in Israel.
Hmm, I got a link to this post from a friend and..
I’m an israeli female soldier. and, well, you really cracked me up. you’re weird and you wrote a lot of stuff that aren’t true. but some that are. and well, what I’d really like to know is – did you imagine that an IDF female soldier would read this post? (my guess is not..)
” Ironically, as most Israeli Young Adults will tell you, they would happily give up their 3 years of standing around in the heat doing practically nothing just for the opportunity to sit in air conditioning and play Scrabulous during work hours.”
So true! This is one of the best posts on the site.
Man, do we have to get our own list for anti-/non Zionist Jews and all of us with a very different set of associations with the IDF? Have you seen surveys of Jewish Young adults on Israel lately? I am way more worried about romanticizing Israeli radical protestors! Now they’re hot.
This is hilarious. Not to negate the hotness of Israeli male soldiers, but soldiers getting booty calls does cross multiple countries. In the U.S., I think the Marines have it tied up for ultimate sexiness (it’s the dress uniform, I think), although they’ve got competition from any branch of the service with fighter pilots. Every woman wants a Top Gun.
I went to an all women’s college in Virginia, and on the weekends girls went by the carload to VMI. I was never bold enough to go (although I really wanted to; I still love a man in uniform), but I heard that cadets were required to tip their hat to women, which drove all of them wild.
In looking at pictures of Israeli men (trying to find one for a book), I have been struck by how many have dark hair and skin and light eyes. I don’t know about other women, but that’s definitely a hotness factor in my opinion. Mix it with the whole uniform thing (and the washboard abs certainly don’t hurt) and you probably have the reason for why women can’t keep their panties on at border crossing in Israel. And we won’t even dicuss the berets. My husband can tell you that’s how he snagged me.
[...] Then Oren writes about the Israeli army as though it was a regrettable duty. What he doesn’t mention is that an Israeli’s time in the IDF is a proud time for young Israelis (at least those who don’t come out of the service forever regretting the ‘most moral army‘) and if military duty was not required, most Israelis would continue to volunteer for service out of love for the institution. [...]
I’m sure A LOT of Israeli Young Adults would tell you that they enjoy serving their two or three years in the I.D.F. For many Israelis, those are the best years of their lives.
cathal, that is the most incorrect statement I’ve read in my life. Congratulations.