One of the more prominent idiosyncrasies in the Jewish Young Adult community is the online dating website known as JDate. What is unique about the website is that it specifically caters to the Jewish community as a whole, with the overwhelming bulk of patrons falling in the JYA category. The relationship between JYAs and the website known as JDate is tenuous. Even though JDate purportedly assists in creating potential conjugal experiences between JYAs, JYAs feel mixed emotions toward the website.
Initially, JYAs do enjoy the process of selectively screening potential mates, hacking through profiles with a discerning machete. JYAs also enjoy sharing potential matches with friends, comparing notes, and gathering objective opinions on the “hotness” of possible dating partners. One JYA, “Tricia”, accurately explained the initial appeal of Jdate, stating “So Jackie sent me this photo of this guy that she is chatting with and maybe might go on a date with. And he totally went to high school with me. And then I was like, OMG, Jackie, that photo is from high school, he’s totally like 30 pounds heavier now. She fully owes me big time for saving her from going out with a fatty”.
Fairly quickly after the initial charm of JDate wears off, JYAs feel a distinct aversion to the site. Typically after a month, the JYA will deem JDate “lame” or “desperate” (see The Matzah Ball), and will claim to shun all association with the site. This reversal of sentiments usually stems from a string of failed encounters with potential JDate matches, resulting in grudge-bearing against the site as a whole. “Tricia” again presented this argument well, stating “Ugh, the guys on Jdate are such losers. I went out on three dates, each guy was uglier than the one before it. The last guy just talked about this girl he was still in love with from college, and he didn’t even pay”
Finally, after a latency period of around three months, the typical JYA will again overturn their opinion of the site, again showing favoritism, except through different usage. Instead of using the site to find potential matches, they will share their negative experiences from months before with other JYAs, usually by commiserating over new members to the site, or stalking members they previously dated. Anecdotal evidence has also indicated that JYAs will show renewed favoritism to the site also because they harbor hope that newer members will be more attractive. “Tricia” summed up her rekindled partiality toward JDate three months after she initially logged on, stating “Jackie and I totally sit around and laugh at all these new dorks that are on the site. I mean, its not like I’m paying for it anymore or anything. Please, I only did it for a month. But, you never know, you know?”
While JDate has become a veritable household name for JYAs, both in Israel, the States, and elsewhere, the emotive response to the site is anything but uniform. JYAs like the site, while at the same time they hate that they like the site, while at the same time they like that they hate that they like the site. Fortunately for JDate and its financial backers, JYAs have a strong enough internal need to procreate where even with their mixed emotions there is no fear of going bankrupt.
This is definitely true in my world. I used to visit the site all the time, all the while complaining about it to my friends.
It is just a vicious cycle that all JYAs go through…
[...] JDate Goodness from Others: #26 Liking to Hate to Like JDate No one takes JDate seriously except [...]
1) The site is cumbersome to use. The Spark company seems to be more concerned about re-arranging the look and feel rather then really improving the functionality
2) You can search on many, vital attributes – such as current family status, future status, etc.
I have also found a lot of members are actually NO LONGER members – meaning they have abandoned their ID’s. Now the reviewer will not know this unless they are clairvoyent. So you could be spending a lot of money and time writing to people – who just are no longer using the site. I suppose this just makes the singles count much higher then it really is.
I also did some math on the numbers signing up and meeting mates. They don’t add up either.
In summary – use this site for a short while. If you think it is working – by all means stick with it. If not – drop it like a bad habit.
Final thought – I can not confirm – but have been told that only about 10-12% of people really meet on online sites. Not a great average really.
Now there’s a better alternative: http://jewforme.com. It tries to address a lot of the problems with JDate.
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weird, considering the most popular dating site in Israel is Okcupid instead of JDate… (according to these guys at least)
http://www.appappeal.com/the-most-popular-app-per-country/dating/
This is a great post! I’m actually beginning to dig into JDate with one of my close friends and seeing where the journey takes us in terms of love and dating. If you’re interested, our blog is here: http://jdateproblems.tumblr.com or you can follow us on Twitter @JDateProbs.
Keep up the great work!