#93 Crashing Christmas Parties

Every year around then end of November, Jewish Young Adults find themselves surrounded by what is euphemistic called the “Holiday Season”.  This month long event is meant to instill an extra amount of joy and merriment to all, regardless of religion or nationality.  For the JYA, it is an opportunity to crash as many Christmas parties as possible.

JYAs love attending Christmas parties because it gives them an entertaining taste into the rites and rituals of Non Jews.  For some, it is an occasion to practice making out with their Goyish office crush underneath a sprig of Mistletoe.  For others, it is a chance to revel in odd culinary treats like Egg Nog.  Still others use the Christmas party as a way to poke fun of the quaint fashion statements of their Non-Jewish peers, like thick woolen sweaters with leather elbow pads and prancing reindeer on the sleeves.    And there are even those that combine all three Non-Jewish idiosyncrasies into one night, like JYA “Tanya” who was spotted at the Holiday Party for her LA based PR agency stating “I was so drunk on eggnog last night and I was totally going to make out with Chris under the mistletoe but then I realized that he was wearing like a green Santa hat and brown corduroys and I was like, there is no way I am letting some dude who wears pleats put his tongue in my mouth.  I was so grossed out”.

It is important to note that a JYAs fascination with Christmas Parties is proportional to the concentration of Jews in his/her neighborhood.  Meaning, JYAs that live in predominantly Jewish areas display a higher interest in attending Christmas Parties than those who live in areas that are predominately Non-Jewish, probably stemming from the increased novelty effect of interacting with Gentiles.  Therefore, it is not uncommon to see Israeli JYAs as the ones who are the most rambunctious and gung-ho about Yuletide affairs, and will frequently be the most drunk at Christmas Parties.

What is this stuff?

#92 Sending Back Food

(idea submitted by Jenny B.)

It is a well document cultural phenomenon that Jewish Young Adult exhibit a strong tendency to order “special” meals at restaurants; meaning they display a high proclivity toward augmenting or adjusting existing items on any given menu to suit their liking.  But there is also a secondary, more subtle, offshoot of this trend, whereby the JYA will simply send back food if they are not satisfied.

Whereas those JYAs who order “special” meals will tirelessly harass/irritate restaurant wait staff until they are satisfied, those JYAs who send back food simply cannot be bothered with arguing and appeasing until their meal is made to their liking, and instead prefer to quell potential altercations by disengaging entirely.

For example, JYA “Tessa” was recently disappointed with her Skim Extra Foam Caramel Macchiato at her local Starbucks on the Upper East Side.  After taking one sip of the beverage, Tessa cut in line, returned the frothy cup to the pimpled teen behind the counter and stated vehemently that she demanded her money back, citing that the coffee was “not hot enough”.  The teen immediately offered to brew Tessa another concoction, but Tessa refused, stating loudly “I don’t have time for your incompetence.  I’m a paralegal in Midtown and I have stuff to do”, and stormed out.

It is hotly debated if sending back food emerged as a cultural singularity before or after ordering “special” meals.  Current research suggests that sending back food predated ordering “special” meals, as the restaurant industry only became capable of making “special” meals in the late Seventies.  Therefore, sending back food is an idiosyncrasy for JYAs that they share both with Jewish Adults and even with Jewish Elders, and is sometimes even a comforting commonality.

It is important to note that if a Non Jew is ever in the presence of a JYA who sends back food, it is not recommended to offer some of your own, as this would only irritate the JYA even more.  Even though etiquette would hint at sharing your meal with the frustrated JYA, the Non Jew is advised to agree immediately with the JYA that the establishment does not deserve their money/time and suggest going to a different location.

#91 Gchat

(idea submitted by Jen G.)

Jewish Young Adults of today love to be connected to each other, spending endless hours in communiqué about various topics, both banal and substantive.  In the recent decades, with the growth of the internet, communication has become more a matter of instant gratification than anything else, with the ability to stay in contact all across the globe, cheaply, efficiently, and in real time.  Considering this trend, one of the more preferred methods of communication for JYAs of today is Gchat.

The beauty of Gchat is that it is synchronous with the rest of the numerous obligations and interests of JYAs.  For the hard working I-Banking JYA, or the one who spends hours making Power Point presentations at McKinsey, Gchat has a wonderful application for Blackberry, where the JYA can keep up on the latest drama of who made out with who at the Bnei Jeshurun co-ed Touch Football game.

For the cubicle bound JYA, Gchat is conveniently not blocked from the company server, as it is embedded in Gmail, especially when coupled with Firefox, and therefore offers endless opportunities to be self-deprecatingly flirtatious with the new intern down the hall.

And for those who are unemployed or underemployed, Gchat serves as an excellent medium to complain about your un/underemployment while sending countless resumes over Gmail.

Additionally, Gchat offers JYAs another benefit as well in that they get to write about themselves non-stop throughout the day, playing into the JYA assumption that people always want to hear what they have to say.

Whatever the reason, Gchat has become the go-to method of interaction between JYAs, where they can kvetch, flirt, fight, and even fall in love.

#90 Taking a Year Off

(idea submitted by Marla L.)

One of the demographic characteristics of the Jewish Young Adult community is a general trend toward being financially stable, not necessarily from their own hard work or volition.  This offers the JYA ample opportunities to exercise their freedom of choice and explore various outlets and facets.  Over recent decades JYAs have taken this freedom to heart, sometimes to deleterious extremes, and what has emerged is a tendency to explore this freedom by taking a year off.

JYAs will pursue a bevy of possibilities when taking a year off.  Some will come to Israel to find themselves on a number of various year long trips.  Some will look to volunteer for a year for institutions like Teach for American, even if they have to pay for it.  Some, particularly Israeli JYAs, will disappear into year-long drug-filled hazes in South America, India, or Thailand.  Still others will pursue academic goals, like Seattle based JYA “Dave”, who spent a year studying Chinese Medicine in Sydney.

There are plenty of reasons why JYAs take a year off, but one unifying theory is that they simply can.  Whereas the generation of Jewish Adults had a more limited scope of possibilities (doctor, banker, or lawyer preferable, maybe a professor even), JYAs of today have too many options at their beck and call, and the means to go explore them.  So they do.

JYAs in Peru - exploring their tolerance for Pilsen Callao

It is also important to note at in recent years it has also become socially “acceptable” for JYAs to take a year off well into their early to mid thirties.  It has also become “acceptable” to take multiple trips.  As an example, Israeli JYA “Oren” took a trip to Central America for nearly 10 months at the age of 32.  When asked why he was taking the trip, “Oren” answered matter-of-factly “I’ve already been to India when I was 25”.

#89 Brunching

(idea submitted and written by Samantha H.)

What’s more Jewish than a Sunday brunch of bagels, lox and shmear? Brunching is one of the greatest traditions of Jewish Young Adults, but it is a trend that may have actually been stolen brunch from Jesus-loving counterparts.  Apparently, brunch, which combines the greatest foods from breakfast and lunch, was a big meal eaten by Christians after attending mass.  Regardless of its roots, Jews have hopped on this trend like white boys from the suburbs dig Kanye.

But why is this meal different from all other meals?  Brunch is an excuse to meet up with friends when you’re still hungover, then drink beverages like Bloody Mary’s and exchange stories of last night’s shenanigans with the goyfriend.  Plus, it’s like two meals for the price of one; and JYAs love bragging about their bargains.

Whether it’s eggs benedict, whitefish, or homefries, brunch is one of the greatest traditions most JYA’s were brought up with.  Beginning with extravagant brunches after a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, trying to reach for some fruit salad between the deafening “Mazel Tov’s” from long-lost relatives.  Since then, through college, and into adulthood one of the greatest constants has been brunches with family and new and old friends, regardless of the city.  JYAs have been spotted brunching the world over; Saturdays in LA or NYC, Sundays in London, or Friday’s in Tel Aviv.  A cup of coffee, a big glass of OJ, and two hours of gossip makes everything seem more bearable.

#88 American Apparel

(idea submitted by Ilana D.)

One of the most recent brands that has attracted the attention of Jewish Young Adults across the globe is LA based retailer American Apparel.  The brand, a vertically integrated pseudo-retro 80’s clothing manufacturer founded in 1989 by Canadian Jew Dov Charney, quickly became a fashion fixture for JYAs, and has maintained avid support from across the board.

There are many reasons why JYAs have a special place in their hearts for American Apparel.  Indy-hipster JYAs are quick to note that the brand is responsible for a large bulk of their ironic-Jewish-themed T-shirts.  Murray Hill I-Banker fraternity-type JYAs love the sultry models in alluring poses.  Lefty Nalgene-loving JYAs support the progressive labor practices and the political leanings of the company.  Female JYAs find the company’s non-stereotypical style attractive.  And the rest are proud that such a mensch made it into the big time in the shmatte business.  Even Israeli JYAs are willing to shell out the extra cash just to buy American Apparel leggings from the store in central Tel Aviv.

Beyond all of these reasons, the company also makes quality clothing, and everyone can enjoy one of their fitted cotton t-shirts, even those that don’t tend toward the glam-rock scene.  In this vein, it is easy to see why American Apparel resonates with JYAs; every JYA can find something in the company that they like, even with all the controversy and pending lawsuits over sexual harassment.

She could be Jewish?

#87 Faking Israeli Accents

(idea submitted by Sarah L.)

One of the fun aspects of being a Jewish Young Adult is that you get to poke fun of other Jewish Young Adults and revel in their idiosyncrasies.   Part of this enjoyment comes in the form of Faking Israeli Accents.  JYAs, males in particular, have taken this form of humor to unprecedented heights, and can frequently be heard joking about what they deem as funny accents and intonations.  Some have even made quirky Israeli accents into veritable art, as can be witnessed in this example.

The penchant for poking fun of Israeli twangs has been around for a while, but was solidified and magnified by the recent Adam Sandler film, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, which gave JYAs, females included, ample fodder for countless hours of laughter.

As the saying goes – imitation is the highest form of flattery – anecdotal evidence has shown that JYAs fake Israeli accents because they secretly wish they were their swarthy, manly, dark skinned cousins across the Atlantic.  In effect, donning an Israeli accent while out with the bros gives them a macho feel and makes it easier to hit on the ladies.

It is important to note that female JYAs are less prone to faking Israeli accents than their male counterparts, but there has been a notable rise in usage as well.  This possibly stems from the fact that male JYAs seem to have a fetish for female Israeli soldiers, leading females JYAs to believe that an Israeli accent is alluring.

It is also important to note that Israeli JYAs frequently fake American or British accents as well, but the reasoning is unclear.

#86 Getting Props from Other Minorities

(idea submitted by Jacob L.)

Jewish Young Adults, being an effective minority group within a larger minority group, love it when they get support or a shout out from other minorities.  JYAs will sometimes even go out of their way to seek out references where other minority groups give them props, posting their findings on Facebook walls, Twitter links, or emails.

Diddy and the Jeweler

Chicago based JYA, “Dave” posted a link to a Chris Rock special on his Twitter page, along with the caption “Chris rock is my boy!”  Another JYA, “Mike”, from Atlanta, listed out on his blog every Kanye West song that references Jacob Arabo, aka Jacob the Jewler (nee Yakov Arabov), as well as all the lyrics to Jay Z’s Roc Boys, which includes the classic rhyme: “Black Bar Mitzvah, Mazal Tov, it’s a celebration bitches”.

Some JYAs have taken this interest to extremes, trolling the internet for the most obscure references they can find and sharing it with other JYAs, like when JYA “Abby” sent an email to her sister with a link to a video of Margaret Cho’s appearance at the annual Kung Pao Kosher Comedy Festival in San Francisco, along with the line “If you look in the 3^rd row on the right you will see Ari, that guy I was telling you about, sitting there with that slut Jenny.  He’s such a dick.  I’m never calling him again”

The interest in seeking tribute from other minorities stems from the JYAs need to feel cool, or at least cool by Non-JYA standards, and there is nothing cooler than having one of your own getting props from Inspectah Deck.

#85 Being a Camp Counselor

Most Jewish Young Adults of today have participated in some type of informal Jewish Education, usually in through summer camps, weekend conventions with youth groups, or Israel trips.  But what is unique about JYAs is that many of them have also voluntarily decided to go back to these institutions, frequently well into their mid-30s, in counselor positions, long after their tenure as a camper has ended.

The question remains, why would a JYA freely choose to isolate themselves in a remote wooded corner with no WiFi, sleeping in musty cramped bunks, drinking “bug juice”, and dealing 24/7 with horny teenagers?

Most JYAs will publicly state that their penchant for returning to their childhood stomping grounds is based on quaint reminiscing of good times past, or a genuine desire to contribute and shape young minds.  But there are also deeper, more personal reasons why JYAs continue to spend the summer months in log cabins.

One possible explanation is that JYAs see being a counselor as a “Booty Redo”, effectively a second chance to hook up with all of those who passed them over when they were campers.  Another possible explanation is that many JYAs simply don’t have anything better to do, and see being a counselor as a quick two month escape from the day to day reality of perennial underemployment, living with their parents, quarter life crisis, or whatever else plagues the JYA.

In this vein, it is safe to assume that JYA participation as camp counselors will continue to rise in the coming years due to a few factors.  First, JYAs are continuing to delay “real life” as much as possible.  Second, the economic situation has given a lot of JYAs extra free time due to higher unemployment.  Third, the desire to hook up and be kissy face with random people well into your thirties is stronger than ever.

It is important to note that being a counselor for a Birthright trip is a subgroup of this same topic, with the same underlying reasons.  The only difference is that the impetus to hook up is much stronger as Birthright participants are all of legal age, whereas in summer camp only the other counselors are typically of legal age.

(note the Nalgene Bottle, indicating probable JYA)

#84 James Taylor

Most young adults tend to shy away from the musical interests of their parents, paving their own ground instead.  Jewish Young Adults tend to follow this model as well, quickly categorizing their parents Streisand LPs to the “garage sale” bin.  However, there is one artist that has transcended generational bounds and found an eager audience with JYAs:  James Taylor.

Mr. Taylor emerged onto the folk-rock scene in the late 60’s, and truly made his mark in the early 70’s with his soothing voice and slow paced melodies.  And, even though he is not Jewish, Mr. Taylor was an all time favorite for Jewish Adults, both in Europe and Stateside, and was in integral part of the larger folk-rock movement that included other Jewish Adult favorites like Paul Simon, Cat Stevens, and Carly Simon.

Even though he was in an out of the spotlight in the subsequent decades, JYAs adopted Mr. Taylor as one of their own.  Today, the “Best of James Taylor” album is an integral part of the “I own it but never listen to it” collection of many a JYA across the globe, and is frequently used as default pre-booty mood music by males.

Interestingly, Mr. Taylor’s recent comeback over the past decade has not registered at all with JYAs, and they continue to prefer the tracks favored by their parents.  Male JYA “Ari”, who admits to using the song “You’ve Got a Friend” to woo reluctant co-eds, was recently informed of Mr. Taylor’s latest album from 2008 and stated “Seriously?  I thought he was like dead or something”.